i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
