We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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