i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize