he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize