Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He? As in you personified your dick?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
