I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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