I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
