I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
