so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
