like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
