I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
