she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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