so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
