strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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