he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
