i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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