Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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