i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
