no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
