Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
