u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
