you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
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