i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
