The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
