You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
