Me too!
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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