You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
