K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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