i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
