like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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