So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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