I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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