And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Randomize
