His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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