if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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