weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Sext me about skeletons
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
