I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
