biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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