i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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