Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
