it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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