haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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