he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
