WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
