I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you win again, gameday.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Your penis caused this!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
