I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The adults are the big ones right?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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