Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
