She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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