OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
