so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
