we have officially mastered the walk of shame
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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