thus making me awesome and them whores
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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