You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize