There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
smell my finger.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
