i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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