Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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