Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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