So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
