U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
