I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
