A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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