she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
